Why Did I Do This?

[freemocy]

I know you are waiting for me to reply , thats why you are still on..
Wait for my next reply..tonight..ok !!

[freemocy]

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart

[freemocy]

Hopelessly bound
unfettered
by the chains of love's grip
- greatest gift,
fate's cruelest curse.

Wherefore do I weep
at knowing the joy,
the warmth,
at feeling the peace,
the fire.

Wherefore do I weep
unable to complete ,
to be,
unknown the kiss,
the flames.

Wherefore do I weep
at loving not living
seeing not touching
breathing not sharing
holding not loving?

All,
because I, The Fool,
am no more?

[freemocy]

As we lay there quiet
I was reminded of all the reasons why I lust you
Your smile,
and the way it teased at me seductively
Your laugh,
and the way it tempted me
Your eyes,
and the way they seem to hypnotize me

As we sat there silent
I was reminded of all the reasons why I love you
Your smile,
and the way it brings such life into me
Your laugh,
and the way it makes everything okay
Your eyes,
and the way they seem to read my thoughts

As we stand here now
I am reminded of all the reasons why I hate you
Your smile,
and the way it confuses me
Your laugh,
and the way it seems to mock me
Your eyes,
and the way they can look into mine and not feel a thing

[freemocy]

My belt loosens slowly.
Reminders of you stay fresh
in murky ponds of suffocating tadpoles.
Wake me in the morning,
when the sun shines again.
It's frightening when all I know
falls apart.
And all I know is you.
Hunger squeezes me tighter.
My soul sags with exhaustion.
Ashtrays fill with sleepless nights.
Weeping intensifies my anxiety.
Can tomorrow come without you...
here today?
The cheap chandelier falls on my face.
The rose filled lamp explodes in my hands.
Pain is unrecognizable.
All I knew was you.
You.
My love.