Hate me.....

[freemocy]

I sat there while you smiled.
I sat there thinking you cared.
I sat there believing you'd be there for me.
I sat there watching you pretend to be mine.


I let you do what you wanted,
but only because I thought I could trust you.
I let you crush my heart.
I let you make me believe you truly loved me.
I let you make promises I knew you couldn't keep.

I loved you because I thought I could call you mine.
I loved you because I thought you loved me back.
I loved you because I thought you'd be the shoulder I could cry on.
I loved you because you made me happy when nothing else did.

I hate myself for believing in what wasn't there.
I hate myself for wishing you were still here.
I hate myself for caring about you.
I hate myself for becoming so involved in you that I let you control my life.

I don't think I can ever forgive you, but deep down inside I think...I still love you.
And even after the pain you have caused me, I think, I'll be okay.