Marital Issues Amongst Overseas Moroccans

[bintleblad]

Namudar


First off I did not call YOU selfish, HE is the selfish one trying to have his cake and eat it to and this has nothing to do with his nationality, infidelity is GLOBAL and has no greed, colour or religion so lets get off the ‘Moroccan men are this or that’ bandwagon.
Pure and simple he is a man and had an agenda whether it is pleasure, fun, or just boosting his ego, the fact is he did not tell you he was married and you pumped into them in a shop says it all!
AS for foreign men chasing women, HELLO checkout all the bars and clubs in western societies men leeching over women and we are talking WESTERN MEN HERE, so lets not be ignorant and categories Eastern men and the only men ‘chasing women’ and the point is if they are ‘chasing’ not ‘forcing’ so its up to the women whether to go with them or not!
Secondly having family values is a good thing, WE ARE NOT SLAVES, we like to look after our families and support them whether it be sending money home, listening to them and respecting their wishes, there is a lot to learn from family back home, we don’t CUT OFF from our roots just because we moved country if anything we try and hold onto them, we don’t dilute our nationality and heritage why should we. We work in western society, pay our taxes, respect the culture but hold onto our own roots as much as we can. Moroccans have high family values and this is a good thing, family tends to come first, I very much doubt his wife would have let him have a lover, did he even tell her he was seeing you? If the west took better care of their families and looked at the east for inspiration their would not be so many old people in homes, single kids on the street and like Mselya pointed out just look at the US and UK chat shows, shows you something about family values. At the end of the day East and West can learn from each other. But there are bad apples in all races and walks of life and this is based on character and not Nationality!
Secondly if my husband went out to work and supported me whilst I raised my child I would not have a problem with that and I am an educated career woman, not disrespected or degraded. The west is full of woman raising kids and never seeing them because they have to work, again nothing wrong with family values and women staying at home if they are happy with that.
Unfortunately you got a raw deal in this relationship and that’s hard emotionally and psychologically when someone you cared about lies to you. But you should see it as that a relationship which he based on lies and not as a ‘Moroccan man doing you wrong’ he is just a MAN, same thing could have easily happened with an American or English man or any man for that matter. We all make mistakes and that’s what he did now he has made a decision to stay with his wife forget it, whether he is happy or not is not your concern, you should be grateful you got out when you did and did not spend years with him.

[Ghazala]

Originally Posted by namudar

Reading between the lines of the replies, it does feel like his actions are being excused or somehow defended. Family values, strong minded etc. None are really relevant. This brings me back to my point of the lack of introspection...I don't want a husband who strays but she does. Any family unit at this point becomes little more than a shell.
My thoughts only of course.

You know nothing about this woman apart from she is married to the man who ultimately chose her over you. It seems like you are having problems accepting that you were played by a cheat. Looking at all your posts, you seem to blame the wife when you don't even know her. HE cheated on you BOTH. The man should be the target of your venom. He knew he wasn't free to pursue someone else but he did nonetheless. Big WOW!. Most adulterers (serial at least) follow this pattern. They want to 'eat out' every so often.

The wife has her own reasons for staying with him & you don't know what they are. It obviously makes it easier for you to believe that she stays because she is weak or desperate. With all due respect, it looks like you are the one who is desperate - to make sense of this situation.

To say they you think they would be best off back home is complete nonsense. All adulterers and their wives should be shipped back on banana boats should they??? Why? For their sin of using a 'native'?? Like the others have said, his adultery and her apparent forgiveness is common throughout the world.

I would put this one down to experience & move on. No point dwelling over a married man. Next time make sure he is single rather than taking his word for it. After all, most adulterers are liars

[bintleblad]

Hi Ghazala

babe u hit the nail on the head, MAKE SURE HE IS SINGLE!
did you ever meet his friends, colleagues, associates, have his home number, get invited to his house, stay over at his house? if you only meet at yrs and you where never invited over to his that is the BIGGEST ALARM BELL, did he leave the room to talk on his mobile, hv it switched off once he left you, I am telling you men can be caught out if you look passed yr emotions and analyse the situation 'for real'! If you where with him for half a year he must hv slipped up unless like Ghazala said he is a 'serial cheater' and done it so many times he is a pro at lying!
The wife really is never lay blame with the innocent party and that is his wife, she might love him so much she is willing to forgive him for anything.