Why do people like to change Islam?

[Anisa]

Its basically sleeping around. What happens to the women he divorces? Are they spoiled goods?

[Ghazala]

It's ok Anisa - it's apparently permitted in Islam right? Being divorced by an old pervert who has tired of you is better than being a single independent woman is it not?

Welcome to the world of Sick Hypocrites.....

[Ghazala]

Saudi man with 58 wives stirs polygamy debate
By: Associated Press
Published: January 4, 2005

In 50 years, he says, he has married 58 women and has forgotten the names of most of them. He knows he has had 10 sons, but ask about daughters and he counts on his fingers: 22. No, no, 28. No, that's too many. He settles on 25.

Saleh al-Sayeri, a 64-year-old shepherd-turned-businessman, says his marital adventures have cost him more than $1.6 million in wedding expenses and settlements for divorced wives. But the man who remembers being forced into his first marriage at age 14 says he'd do it a million times over.

"Marriage doesn't bore me," he said, relaxing on cushions at a carpeted, open-air reception area in his 22-horse stable in Usfan, in the desert 500 miles west of Riyadh. "I'm the happiest man in the world."

Al-Sayeri's story might seem a bizarre curiosity, but it touches a nerve in Saudi Arabia, the status of whose women is a matter of international controversy.

When it surfaced in Saudi media in March, some readers reacted angrily.

A woman who identified herself as Maryam, a convert to Islam, wrote to the Arab News, an English-language daily, that al-Sayeri's story "really sent me over the edge."

"What kind of a family structure is this? What is divorce doing to the psychologies of the ex-wives and children? How can this man devote any quality time to his children -- teaching them about Islam and being a constant role model?" She wrote.

Sayyidaty magazine, which interviewed al-Sayeri, also spoke to psychiatrist Mona al-Sawwaf who said al-Sayeri does not treat a wife as a human being "but as a piece of clothing he can change whenever he pleases or an object."

"The biggest blame lies with the parents" who let their daughters enter such marriages, she said.

Al-Sayeri dismisses such critics as "crazy," insisting he is not breaching Islamic laws, which permit a man to have four wives at a time.

"I have a clear conscience," he said.

None of Al-Sayeri's ex-wives could be reached. He said many have remarried, but to reveal their identity would be a gross violation of Saudi custom. One of his sons said his mother has remarried, but refused to give details.

Divorce has become quite common in the kingdom, with press reports saying half of all marriages break up. But the fate of a divorced woman depends on her parents' frame of mind. If they oppose the divorce, they likely will confine her to the house and monitor her movements. She will be barred from dating or working without family permission.

The notion of a single career woman barely exists here. Women cannot even drive. They cannot get an education, travel or check into a hotel without a male guardian's permission.

Some parents, on the other hand, are modern-minded enough to let their daughters finish their schooling or go out to work. And although Islamic laws permit a man to have four wives at a time, most Muslim men today take one wife, because it has become the cultural norm and polygamy is costly.

Money is not an issue for al-Sayeri, who says he has made a fortune trading in cars and property. He is a dark, medium-built man with black mustache and goatee who heads the Sayer, a southern Bedouin tribe. He also raises camels and horses.

He has had 10 sons, one of whom died. Two sons who were at the stable while their father was being interviewed rolled their eyes whenever the subject of marriages came up. They said they had come to accept that their dad is "mizwaj," a man who likes to marry often.

Fahd al-Sayeri, who inherited his father's passion for horses, recalled a desert hunting trip some 15 years ago in the remote Empty Quarter. He andhis friends had gone in search of gasoline when they heard celebratory gunshots coming from a tent. They had come across a wedding.

"Out of politeness, we asked whose wedding it was," Fahd said.

"The guests responded with my father's name. I was shocked," he added.

It's not that the elder al-Sayeri hides his marriages. He just doesn't always bother to spread the word. He said two of his daughters learned they were sisters and two sons they were brothers at school.

Some wives even attend his weddings and bring the bride gifts. But he said he keeps each wife in a separate villa and sometimes even in a different town to keep the peace, and assures each that she's his favorite.

Son Fahd, a 32-year-old bachelor, is adamant he won't follow in his father's footsteps. "No, no, no," he said. "One will be enough for me."

Al-Sayeri said he has married first cousins and women from about 30 tribes all over the kingdom. "As a leader of a tribe, I can't marry just anybody," he said.

He said three of his four current wives have been with him 18 to 40 years. The fourth seems to be the one who usually gets replaced.

"It's the one for renewal," said al-Sayeri, sipping cardamon-flavored coffee after a dinner of spicy lamb and rice. "I like to change my fourth wife
every year."

His latest marriage -- and at 10,000 guests his most sumptuous -- was to a 14-year-old girl nine months ago. She was the perfect age, he said.

When he heard about her, he sent his niece to check her out. She came back with a favorable report.

Then he visited her family. When the girl came into the living room to offer him refreshments -- an excuse for him to see her face -- he asked her if she would marry him.

"She was shy at first and didn't answer but then she said yes," al-Sayeri recalled. "Now, we're such good friends it feels we've known each other 40 years."

A Saudi woman will usually marry whomever her family chooses, and marriage is considered acceptable from the onset of puberty.

Al-Sayeri claims he has never forced a woman to marry him, and has never been turned down. His ex-wives get a divorce settlement set out in a prenuptial agreement and he supports the children, he said. He said all his divorces are documented with court-issued papers that usually follow this declaration to his wife: "You are divorced."

He said today's women are "more pleasant to have around."

"They take better care of themselves, use makeup and do not run away every time I want to touch them," he said.

Al-Sayeri said he will keep on marrying until the number of wives he has acquired equals the number of years he has lived.

[bintleblad]

Hi Ghazala

hope u are well hun.

i see yr point, dirty old men ! i mean to marry someone so young, what happens when you give her 3 children and you die because yr 'grandfather age' i jst dont get it! (selfish)
That kind of marriage is for pure male pleasure and how he got from 4 to 50+ marriages is insane!! Yes they twist the Islamic allowance of 4 to suit their own needs.

[Ghazala]

I'm good thanks babe - just emailed you

This man is a joker. Can't remember their names or the number of children he has?!

[Anonymous]

Good points, I agree with you girls

I only feel sorry for the women who live in such backward societies where they feel compelled to enter into marriages such as these. Its easy for us as First World independent women to scoff at the idea but God knows how trapped these women must feel or what they must be going through.

I have nothing against 4 wives (not for me but I have no objection when others do it *within the spirit of Islam*). What this Saudi man is doing is twisting Islam to suit his own perversions , and so not following Islam. He is blatantly ignoring the Sahih Hadith where Rasool SAW said that he did not like "tasters" i.e. men and women that frequently changed marital partners for physical pleasure.

At the end of the day I wouldn't bother with men like this. The world is too advanced for this to even be an issue. If this were my hubby he would have got a kick along time ago However I can only pity and sympathise with these women in the meantime. The tide will turn *eventually* for Saudi women (and others in repressed communities), its only a matter of time.

As for us, for every bigoted man out there (like this Saudi fool) there is a modern , sensible and loyal man. So girls need not worry, just find the right bloke

[-theTruth-]

Guys there was a guy in Sahaba time who managed to marry 80 women one after another while keeping 4 in total. but alongside other cases are nothing new just like those who claim to be muslims but happen to sleep around and say God is merciful etc..... who cares about the evil doers????? they have Allah to deal with .
We are talking about honnest people and those who follow Islam as proscribed by Mohammed PBUH not as seen by the media and not those who have other Gods they follow
Did you know that there is a god of pleasure god of sex god of money etc............ all called Ilah aL Laywee in the Quran and anyone who associate them with ONEGOD Allah SWT will be severly punished.
Read the haddith that speaks of the one who was brought in front of God and was known to be a martyr and when he claimed so God ordered him to be thrown in hell because he was a liar and so and forth.........
The fact that up to 4 wifes are possible it should be allowed and respected and followed to the letter not just accept it as it stands there are rules that one must follow to be able to judge fairly between the wifes.
The Quran states If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one ..(Qur'an 4:3) The only passage in the Qur'an(4:3) which explicitly mentioned polygamy and restricted its practice in terms of the number of wives permitted and the requirement of justice between them was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which dozens of Muslims were martyred leaving behind widows and orphans. This seems to indicate that the intent of its continued permissibility is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (i.e., imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars). This provides a moral, practical, and humane solution to the problems of widows and orphans who are likely to be more vulnerable in the absence of a husband/father figure to look after their needs: financial, companions, proper rearing, and other needs.

Remember Islamic societies are different from non muslim ones marying a person is the same as marying a community hence the ties are stronger.
Now here is the joke
only those who are believers
I feel sorry for anyone who can not stand his wife because he will have his wife or wifes next to him in heaven forever