what do you think?

[nygirl]

Salam everyone. Boy this board sure has changed since I started posting here about a zillion years ago. I do still see a few familiar names though. I check in, but don't post much at all - just too busy with my studies and work.

Anyhow - I started reading/posting here before I married my husband (he is Moroccan, I am American). I truly love the country of Morocco, it is beautiful and I have always felt welcome there. Unfortunaly, after 5 years of marriage, I am divorcing from my husband. It has been my decision, and not an easy one to make.
But here is my question: I know many american women here that are married to Moroccan men. We have a small group that married all about the same time, and we have been friends - 4 out of the 7 of us are divorcing.
I am not judging all Moroccan/American relationships - but they really seem to be fantastic inthe beginning - and then after 2 or 3 years it's finsihed.
I fought and fought to keep my marriage, I love him, I love his family, his mom cries on the phone with me - but I have no more choice in the matter.

Why do you think it is so hard for these relationships? Are the cultural differences really that great, that love cannot cover them?

nygirl

[Ma_Li_Ka]

I'm sorry to hear you marriage did not meet up the expectations and you had to file for divorce. Unfortunately divorce is universal. Even in Morocco the number of divorces have increased, due to the change of many different factors.

But in intercultural marriages you need not to overcome cultural differences. That's the wrong approach to begin with. You need to compromize, you need to understand the differences and respect them (I'm not saying in your case both of you weren't) and that takes a lot of patience.

Besides for a good marriage simply love alone is not enough

[Anisa]

Every marriage is different, we can't tell you why your marriage didn't work out thats between you and your husband.

Divorce is universal, and as Ma-li_ka says is on the increase in Morocco too...

Marriage is hard these days.

[_nadia_]

Can I ask why you felt that divorce was the best option for you NYgirl?

[Ghazala]

I am truly sorry to hear that your marriage didn't work out but take it from me, a lot of marriages between Moroccans are not lasting that long. Can be as short as a month to a couple of years but marriages are not working out so don't feel it is the cultural differences. Some things are not forever. Are you a Muslim btw?

I now have another q but please don't take offence I don't know you & I'm not referring to your personal situation but OUT OF INTEREST, how long does it take for people to get a US passport through marriage?

[Ma_Li_Ka]

Depends, Ghazala. If you get a greencard through marriage (long proces) you will get a greencard with conditions. depending on the state this one needs to be renewed every year. Those conditions mean you are dependent on your spouse. End of relationship is end of greencard. But as you all may know, the US does not have an active deportation-policy as some EU countries. They don't do raids to find illegals

After some time your conditions can be removed. You then get a greencard for 10 yrs. During that time you can apply for citizenship. If you qualify you gotta take the exam and the oath.

So yeah, there are lots of Moroccans that marry Americans just for papers. But each case need to be judged individually. There are lots of succesful marriages as well.

[Ghazala]

Thanks Malika!

I know not everyone is in it for the papers, but I just wanted to know. I know of several mixed relationships where the children of the marriage are in their 20s & 30s.

It's 3 years here before you can apply for nationality. I know of people who dumped their moroccan spouses as soon as they received the magic red passport. Kalab that they are