New Rules by Bill Maher

New Rule: I don't need my cell phone to take pictures or access the Internet. I just need it to make a phone call. From everywhere! Not just from the places it likes. I'm not attempting a wireless mobile uplink to the Space Shuttle. I'm just finding out what time "Shark's Tale" is playing. When it comes to cell phones, I just need the basics: something that rings at inappropriate moments, interferes with airline safety and gives me a brain tumor.

New Rule: Stop saying over and over, "he can run, but he can't hide" about John Kerry, since it's the exact same thing you said about Osama bin Laden, who clearly can hide. Boy, can he hide. We can't find him with cruise missiles, satellites, or million dollar bribes. Although oddly enough, he is reachable through classmates.com.

New Rule: No puppet ****ing. The "South Park" guys have a new movie called "Team America," which features graphic sex scenes between marionettes. Hey, you know what? If I had any interest in wooden sex with strings attached, I'd get married.

Folks, I see the catharsis in a live audience every time I ridicule our president when I do my stand-up on the road - as I will be Friday, November 12th, at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti. A hate, like Bush, only comes once in a lifetime. And when it walks through the door, you grab it and hold on tight, and never let it go. Without George Bush, my job will be... hard

You thought the 2000 election was bad. Wait until the next one is decided by a customer service rep in New Delhi.

[poubalo]

Simple and Bill Maher , That's funny dude .By the way did you see south park in thinksgiving , I loved the turkey < gobouse> and his friend jimmy, it was so funny when did put the turkeys in the room with TV on with relaxing classic music and did cut their heads exept <gobouse>.I just love south park.

Originally posted by poubalo
Simple and Bill Maher , That's funny dude .By the way did you see south park in thinksgiving , I loved the turkey < gobouse> and his friend jimmy, it was so funny when did put the turkeys in the room with TV on with relaxing classic music and did cut their heads exept <gobouse>.I just love south park.

I like bill Maher, I agree with lot of his views including his religion views
I am not a south park fan, I am a Beavis and Butthead fan.