You have to be out there, inshallah!!!

[AllahsLove]

We got a debate going.....Superb!

There is no disputing what you have said. But Arwen, what you say does not make sense, especially in the context of the discussion. If you was going to marry someone then the minimal requirement for the relationship is to be treated as a equal regardless. Whether that is something that is practiced in real life is another thing. Alhamduallah for me who ever my wife will be, i want them to push me on all fronts, intellectually and physicaly and in return i will do the same. This way both will grow as a couple and learn new things about themselves they never knew about...This is being treated as a equal.

On the point of physical beauty there is a great saying "It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness." It is natural for us to seek a physcially beauitful person but beauty fades over time but what does not fade is the beauty of ones character. If you are physically beauitful great but if you have beauitful character then mashallah that will never fade over time...

[Arwen]

Makes sense to me...LOL. I agree for sure that within any marraige both parties should be treated with equality and respect, BUT too often we see the opposite is the norm and in many cases when a woman marries she becomes the property of her husband. Not always in a bad or controling way, but sometimes that is also the case. But even when done with the best of intentions it takes away a small peice of the womans identity.

I think that for a couple to have a strong marraige that will stand the test of time a couple should grow together and work together. Mutual support and trust being important. But not as important as love, for that is the glue to hold you together through good times and bad. That love should be unconditional.

Beauty in the wider sense is unimportant, physical beauty fades over time whereas inner beauty grows with age and experience.

I think when you find your wife to be, she will be very lucky to have you as you seem to have a sound and balanced view on what sharing your life with another is all about.

Oh and if you do stay around and engage in more debates,,,I have to confess I do tend to drift away from the topic or drift off on another tangent.