An Essex Girl

[sweet_angel]

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the council worker?

"10" replies the Essex girl.

"10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne."

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah," says the Essex girl. "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" asks the perturbed
Council worker.

"That's easy," says the girl. "I just use their surnames."


An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress," she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies. "It's mayonnaise this time."

>========================

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says, "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says, "I'll take the red one."

The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher."

>========================

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK, I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions."

Girl: "OK."

Medic: "What's your name?"

Girl: "Sharon."

Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Romford, mate."

>=========================

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" wails the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of 'em!"

>=========================

Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash. There's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the ground.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Girl: "OK."

Medic: "OK the how many fingers am I putting up?"

Girl: "Oh my God, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

>==========================

Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.

She says, "'Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or nuffink, but why duz one of your wellies 'ave an "L" on it and the uvva one got an "R" on it?"

So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, Oim a little bit tick, you see. De one with de R on it is for me roight foot and de L is for me left foot."

"Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them."

[Anonymous]

LOL Priceless

[Anisa]

Use their surnames

[sweet_angel]

Lol glad you liked them ladies

They were sent around our office in an email, one colleage said she didn't understand the first one "come again" and this other colleague didn't understand the "how many fingers have got up"it was hilarious trying to explain them to them.

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by sweet_angel
one colleage said she didn't understand the first one "come again" and this other colleague didn't understand the "how many fingers have got up"it was hilarious trying to explain them to them.

Awww..bless!! they don't seem to have dirty minds , like us

[sweet_angel]

Lol

[Kendra1]

ha ha got them all straight away