A good Blonde joke...

[Kendra1]

Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat
down
next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was
on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large
building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says,"You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan
dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset
and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the
5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Homer took the money.

[hbiba85]

LMAO!

poor blondes...

[azzeddine]

Une femme qui est au lit avec son amant. En pleine action, le bruit dans la
serrure de la porte d'entrée les fige et comme chacun sait, dans les apparts
modernes, pas de place sous le lit, la penderie est ridicule,
le balcon inexistant, et elle habite au 12e. Sans se démonter elle lui fait
: " Reste calme, debout, absolument
immobile ne dis rien " .

Le mari : " Surpriiise darling de mi vida ! Mon vol a été avancé et j'ai
terminé plus tôt. "

Quand il voit le type dans la chambre, il demande : " C'est quoi ça ? "

La femme : " Je viens de le recevoir, figure toi. C'est mon esclave sexuel
robotisé powered par Microsoft©, d'ailleurs il a un air de Bill Gates tu ne trouves pas ? Tu es toujours parti, en réunion, en voyage... est ce que je
sais ce que tu fais quand tu es seul dans ta chambre... c'est comme un vibro
mais en grand, tu voudrais quand même pas que je me tape le plombier ou le voisin?! "

Le mari : " Laisse moi ça de côté je vais te faire ta fête, j'ai une envie de bête. "

Elle qui vient d'être servie, " Non chéri j'ai la migraine ! "

Lui : " Merde c'est toujours pareil ! Bon va a la cuisine me faire une omelette, sois gentille. Ok ok "

Il regarde le robot et n'y tenant plus il se dit : ce qui est bon pour elle est bon pour moi et il se jette pantalon baissé sur le malheureux pour le sodomiser.

A ce moment la l'amant prend une voix métallique et dit "erreur-système, em-pla-cement ré-ser-vé USB "

Robot de merde! Fou de rage le mari le met sur son épaule et va vers la fenêtre pour le balancer et l'amant reprend " pro-gramme ré-initialisé-veu-illez ré-essayer "


Be good, be good, Mum said.
See ya.

[azzeddine]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."


See ya.