6 affairs

[Kendra1]

The First Affair
> >>>
> A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
> One day, their passions overcame them and they took off
>for
> her house, where they made passionate love all
> afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell
> asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his
>clothes,
> he told
> he woman to take his shoes
> outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.
> Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into
> his shoes and drove home.
> Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he
> entered the house.
> Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an
> affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all
>afternoon.
> I fell
> asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife
>glanced
> down at his
> shoes and said, "You lying bastard!
> You've been playing golf!".
> >>>
> The Second Affair
> >>>
> >>>
> There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly
>beautiful
> teenage
> daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the
>son they always
> wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got
>pregnant and
> >>>sure
> >>>enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.
>The joyful
> >>>father
> >>>rushed into the nursery to see his new son.
> >>>He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest
> >>>child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told
>her there was
> >>>no way he
> >>>could be the father of that child.
> >>>"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!"
> >>>Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you
> >>>been fooling around on me?"
> >>>The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this
> >>>time!"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>The Third Affair
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>A mortician was working late one night. It was his
> >>>job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent
>off to be
> >>>buried or
> >>>cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who
>was about
> >>>to be
> >>>cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had
>the longest
> >>>private
> >>>part he had ever seen!
> >>>"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I
> >>>can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously
>huge private
> >>>part like
> >>>this. It has to be saved for posterity."
> >>>With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the
> >>>dead man's scaling. He stuffed his prize into a
>briefcase and took
> >>>it home.
> >>>The first person he showed it to was
> >>>his wife.
> >>>"I have something to show you that you won't believe,"
> >>>he said, and opened up his briefcase.
> >>>"Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>The Fourth Affair
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her
> >>>husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said,
> >>>"stand in the corner."
> >>>Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then
> >>>dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell
>you to,"
> >>>she
> >>>whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
> >>>"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he
> >>>entered the room.
> >>>"Oh it's a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The
> >>>Smith's bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so
> >>>much, I got one for us too."
> >>>No more was said about the statue, not even later when
> >>>they went to sleep.
> >>>Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed,
> >>>went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a
> >>>sandwich and a glass of milk.
> >>>"Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I
> >>>stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three days and
>nobody
> >>>offered me as
> >>>much as a glass of water."
> >>>
> >>>The Fifth Affair
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to
> >>>the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll
>be 1 cent."
> >>>"One Cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over
>at the
> >>>menu and asks
> >>> "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips,
>peas and a
> >>>fried egg?"
> >>>"Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes
> >>>to real money."
> >>>"How much money?" inquires the man.
> >>>"4 cents," the bartender replied. "Four Cents?",
> >>>exclaimed the man.
> >>>"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
> >>>The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
> >>>The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your
> >>>wife?"
> >>>The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to
> >>>his business."
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>The Sixth Affair
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a
> >>>candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile
> >>>hand, tears running down her face.
> >>>Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up
> >>>and his pale lips began to move slightly.
> >>>"Becky my darling," he whispered.
> >>>"Hush my love,! " she said. "Rest, don't talk."
> >>>He was insistent.
> >>>"Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something
> >>>that I must confess."
> >>>"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping
> >>>Becky, everything's all right, go to sleep."
> >>>"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I . I slept
> >>>with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and
>your
> >>>mother!"
> >>>"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "let the
> >>>poison work

[-thetruth]

LOl@not this time

[RuDe_GaL]

hahahaha too funni mannn hahahaha

[madmaroc]

HAHAHA V.FUUNY THATS BRIGHTENED MY DAY AT WORK!!!!!!
ANY MORE?