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Christian men marrying Muslim women

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Old 6th February 2011, 12:10
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Arwen Arwen is offline
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Louloute, Sorry to hear you are feeling so sad about things. Emgee is right, human relationships can be very complicated at times. Maybe because we make them so, putting on all the stresses about conforming to rules that the society we live in puts upon us.

There are only two people in your relationship, yourself and your husband..well three if you count God.. You answer to each other and to him. Religion in general has always been used by some as a tool to control the lives of people. It's often misinterpreted and God's true message often lost. You are not here on this earth to be unhappy, you do have a right to a happy life which you have found with your husband. That is a most precious gift, don't ever throw it away because some cause you to doubt. Don't look to hard for answers or try to seek approval for your love. God brought you together through fate, take that as a sign.

If you have children in the future as long as you love them that's all they need. We are only ever custodians of our children until they grow and are able to make choices for themselves, we just support them in what they do with the unconditional love a parent has for a child.

None of this probably helps you much, as you have to find your own answers. I hope you find inner peace soon. Sometimes the answers we seek we already hold in our heart but choose not to see them. Take care.

Oh, one more thing...you are never alone when there is someone who loves you.
If you be loved, be worthy of love.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 8th February 2011, 06:15
louloute louloute is offline
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Good morning Ladies, and greetings from the middle East

I was wondering if there is any women around married to Christian men and raising them kids christian?

Thank you
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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 16th February 2011, 16:20
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Arwen Arwen is offline
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Sorry you've had no replies to your query louloute I am married to a christian man and we have raised our children together...but I do not think this is the experience you are looking for. It is from a muslim womens point of view I think you are enquiring from.

I suppose it's different for all, as we each know how much and on what points we are prepared to compromise. To be honest most Christians do not see religion as a barrier to happiness. we believe God is all forgiving and all loving. As a christian your husband has chosen to love you if you are really worried about what faith your children should adopt, talk to him about it, if it is a worry for you and you would be happier if your children were brought up as muslims, I think your husband would understand this.

I have friends who are christian women married to muslim men, they accept that their children will be brought up in Islam, as they understand that in Islam the faith of the child is from the fathers line. It's not a problem for them. Some have converted to Islam themselves but most have remained true to their christian faith and in neither case it has not been an insurmountable problem. Marraige is always about tolerence and compromise, if the love is there then it's not a hard task.
If you be loved, be worthy of love.
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Old 13th December 2012, 17:44
MaghribiMuslim MaghribiMuslim is offline
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It is only allowed for a Muslim man to marry a christian or a jewish woman, only from those two religions, but the best is to marry a muslim woman and i myself would only marry a muslim woman.

It is not allowed for the muslim woman to marry any kind of disbeliever, even is she marries one then the marriage is islamically not accepted and that means that they are actually commiting zina.
There are many evidences from the Qur'aan and sunnah for this, and we as muslims believe them to be both revelation from our creator, Allaah.
The meaning of the sahada is That you worship none other but Allaah = ashadu an Laa ilaaha illallaah
and that you obey his prophet, believe in everything he says, stay away from what he has forbidden and only worship Allaah in the way he taught us = ashadu anna muhammad rasuul Allaah.

Some people are going to dislike or even hate what i say and probably hate me but i'm going to say it:
Women and men are different, they are not equal, Men are mostly stronger then women and i could say smarter and also emotionally stronger [ as i said mostly and i'm not saying women are dumb, one of the two being smarter does not mean the other is dumb ], if you look at the history of humankind you will see that moslty men rule the world, countries, tribes etc. and also that men have made the most inventions, investigations, theories, books etc. You could say that the women was being kept away from knowledge but then i say yes that could be but then again it proves that men are stronger. Even in the west where they claim women and men are equal you can see that they'r not. You can see this clearly in the sports world, imagine a woman figting Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Badr Hari etc. Imagine a woman playing next to messi. Also in the movies if you ever watched american movies for example, you see the men buying drinks and other stuff for the women, well this doesn't show equality, because if they were equal maybe the women would buy stuff for the man and run and open his car door etc..

My point is there's going to be problems between the man and the woman in the relationship, for example the wife wants to raise her children as muslims, but the man wants to raise his children as christians or even atheïsts. We as muslims cannot accept that or children are raised as atheïsts or worshippers of anything or anyone other then Allaah, because worshipping other then Allaah is unforgivable and is punished with hellfire, so at the least you could say it wouldn't be a wise decision for the wife if she agreed with the husband, then it shows she doesn't really care about her children's "future" after death. There could also be many other problems, not only religious but culture also. And the man is mostly the dominating type, so he makes most of the choices [ if he's really the man in the relationship ].

We as muslims are also very protective of our women, you could call this backward and treating her as property, but i call this being a real man and having real love for them. I don't want other men to look at my women's beauty or even touch her if i had a wife. Some men let their women being touched by other men, for me this is cowardice, because mostly the men don't like this even if they'r not muslim, if you don't feel any jealousy then you have to ask yourself if you really have a heart and if you realy do love her. I have seen some men letting their women have sex with other men, and when they'r confronted with it, they say as long as she's happy. This is just crazy!

this protectiveness is also a part of the moroccan culture now, i'm not going to change my religion and my culture for anybody, why should we be the ones changing our religion wich is islam [and i believe without a doubt that it's the only truth] and our culture for others, we should study our own islamic moroccan history and our islamic creed and we should be proud of it and spread it to others, for example by translating documentaries about the beautiful moroccan country and lectures by islamic scholars and learning our own history and teaching it to our children. the americans, chinese, japanese, koreans are spreading their own culture by making movies etc. and as for the koreans etc. they translate their movies to other languages. The kind of movies they make and the subjects they choose also show their culture. The americans also make arabs - i'm not arab but amazigh/berber but we are very similar in a lot of things for example religion -, so the americans make arabs [and islam] look bad in their movies, just watch this documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4157QYY3o4 This is their hidden message, that we [arabs and muslims] are backwards, barbaric etc. well i say if you don't like us then fine what do i care i won't change for you especially not after all the insults.

I once saw a moroccan movie about a son who dropped his father at the rest home and the movie was so sad i cried in some parts and i'm a man who almost never shows his feelings, but the movie had a great message, it's this one if you understand moroccan arabic [darija]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jMgXroWpBg
I also saw another movie [wich is mostly funny but has an important message in it] about a guy accidently being sent back to time, the time when the muwahiddeen ruled morocco and telling them about all what happened to the muslims in the future, that they lost spain, that they weren't number 1 in the knowledge of medicine anymore, that they lost power etc. A great message, this is the movie for whoever wants to see it if he knows darija and classical arabic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nvocx9lmKs
If this movies [ and other moroccan movies with a good story and message] were translated then it would spread some of the culture, altough i don't agree with everything that's said and done in the movies but the messages were great. May Allaah forgive me and them and guide us to his straight path

And also if a disbelieving man really really loves this muslim women, then why not convert to islam after investigating it and submitting to it if you really love her and realy want to be with her for your whole life? Most of them aren't really practicing as the topic starter said and i believe islam is the only truth so it would be a wise choice to choose islam first and then choose a muslim wife.

Some moroccans even dislike it when a muslim moroccan women marries a black or white man who is a muslim, and they cause troubles in the family by gossiping, not visiting etc., so the culture also plays a part in it, i do not agree with them not accepting a black or white muslim man who is practicing, prays, goes to the masjid/mosque etc.. Islam is not a racist religion and the evidences are many from the Qur'aan and Sunnah. But as for them not accepting a disbelieving man, then i fully agree with them, because religion shows your way of life.
Ibn ‘Uthaymin: “If the Muslims want strength, power and honour, then only one thing is required: That they stick to the ‘aqîdah (creed) of the Salaf, (their kind of) worship, charachter…” (Fhm 2) Learn Arabic and study islam from great scholars like Ibn Taymiyya, ibn Kathir, ibn al-Qayyim, ibn 'Uthaymeen, al-Albani, bin baz, Muqbil, Saalih al-Fawzaan etc. buy their books on islamic creed, history etc. and read the tafsir of as-Sa'di. Learn Arabic http://www.learnarabic.com/
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