My Void Marriage To A Wonderful Man

[Yasmeen2]

ASALAMU ALAIKUM, I AM MUSLIM SEVEN YEARS BUT STOPPED PRACTISING LAST MAY, NOW I HAVE RETURNED TO SALAT AND TO THE MASJID. I WAS MARRIED TO AN ABUSIVE EX CON AFRICAN AMERICAN MUSLIM MAN BEFORE IN AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE I HAVE A CHILD FOR HIM WHO IS ONE NOW WHO HE NEVER MET AND HE DOESNT WANT TO KNOW (EVEN THOUGH SHE IS HALAL) HE COMITTED ADULTRY I TOLD THE IMAM AND WE DIVORCED HE TOLD ME I WAS NOT ATTRACTIVE THAT ONLY BLACK WOMEN ARE APPEALING TO HIM ETC SO HE WENT BEYOND HIS BOUNDARIES. SUBSEQUENTLY I RETURNED TO IRELAND FROM THE US AND LEFT HIM THER IN NOV 04 I HAVE NOT HEARD A WORD FROM HIM I SENT HIM PICS AN EMAILS ETC BUT NO REPLY. ANYWAYS.. I HAVE KNOWN A MAN OF THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION (BUT NEVER PRACTICES) ALL MY LIFE HE IS VERY INTERESTED IN ISLAM AND WE HAD BEE SEEING EACH OTHER SINCE I DIVORCED IN RAMADAN 2004 WE ARE NOW MARRIED ABOUT A MONTH IN A CIVIL CEREMONY I KNOW THIS IS VERY WRONG BUT WE ARE A VERY HAPP FAMILY I AM CONFIDENT HE WILL CONVERT. ITS NOT EASY TO DRAW THE LINE JUST LIKE THAT HE IS A WONDERFUL FATHER TO MY LEILAH AND HAS NO PROBLEM WITH KIDS GOING TO MADRASA ETC HE SAYS HE LOVES THE WAY MUSLIMS MAKE SALAT FIVE TIMES MY HEART IS BROKE AND I FEEL LIKE A FORNICATOR. WHAT CAN I DO??


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[pilous]

Allah swt say in surat Al baqarah Not to have sex with the mushrikeen "those who add a partner to Allah swt until they believe,and that a beliving slave is better than a moshrik even if you are attracted to him,those call "invite you to hell" and Allah swt invites you to Jannah "paradise"and forgivness by his will,and ALLAH swt shows you his ayats "signs to Minkind perhaps they will remember"
Sister ,O it is very sad how that immoral guy have let his color domination taste and ego dominate his mind and misled him from you !yes he over crosses the boundaries and you did great by leaving because you did not accept the fact he comitted ZIna ,but than look what "you"have done it is also forrbidden !
"hapiness " and "faith" !
I think the real hapiness is when you won't feel guilty as you are now by admitting to the same errors of your husband and going seeking the same race ! as a partner and not a partner by faith for the pleasure of Allah swt.
It was hard for me to answer you ,untill I heard this surat ,so there i replied to you.
Salam,

[Yasmeen2]

Yes, But What Can I Do Now How Can I Just Tell Him Its Over I Cannot Do That. Unless I Use This As A Dawah Opportuinity And Make Him Change?

[voltaires_priest]

Sorry, I may be missing something here, so correct me if I've misunderstood.

You're going to dump the guy you love, and who loves your kids and has given them stability, and who is happy for them to be raised in your religion, all because he personally doesn't have the same religion as you?

And you think this is what God would want you to do?



V

[pilous]

Originally Posted by Yasmeen2

Yes, But What Can I Do Now How Can I Just Tell Him Its Over I Cannot Do That. Unless I Use This As A Dawah Opportuinity And Make Him Change?

just as voltaire priest said and he is a white brits not a muslim!
i will say in another word why don't you think for yourself first!
either follow your human mortal hapiness! or seek that what is eternal
you have broak the islamic law just as your ex husband!
and it is for you to either be conserned for your faith and your kids or let your emotions over power you!
daawa isn't working here sister you are sleeping with a kafir or a moshrik!?
Good luck don't forget to repent!
I'm not asking you to tell him it's over but if you are a muslimah you should think as one! Islam forbids marriying none muslims !Wassalam .that's the law!

[voltaires_priest]

Phasses, I think you've misread my argument. I'm making the opposite point to yours. What I meant was that no "God" worthy of the name would ask a woman to break up a happy marriage, tear her kids away from a man who cares for them as his own, and drive them into instability, all in the name of "marrying someone from the correct religion".

Doctrine or no doctrine, the idea of breaking up families in the name of religion is utter, brutal nonsense.



V

[Yasmeen2]

I agree with both opinions I'm not going to break up my whole family my husband respects my religion and to raise the children as muslim too i am not a cruel person. I will teach him about islam and thats all I can do. I will pay for my own doing.