the beauty of marriage

[-theTruth-]

The beauty of marriage

Why is Marriage so good that God made it an important thing in our life?.
Research shown that marriages are good for the health and keeps a couple live longer despite all the trouble it carries
According to Jewish law the Talmud, Rav Yehuda taught that 40 days before a male child is conceived, a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry, literally a match made in heaven! In Yiddish, this perfect match is called "bashert," a word meaning fate or destiny. The word "bashert" can be used to refer to any kind of fortuitous good match, The Talmud says that an unmarried man is constantly thinking of sin. The Talmud tells of a rabbi who was introduced to a young unmarried rabbi. The older rabbi told the younger one not to come into his presence again until he was married.
According to the Torah and the Talmud, a man was permitted to marry more than one wife, but a woman could not marry more than one man, Around 1000 C.E., Ashkenazic Jewry banned polygyny because of pressure from the predominant Christian culture. It continued to be permitted for Sephardic Jews in Islamic lands for many years to the present day. There is an important passage in the Talmud about men who stay single , apparently they may be visited by a demon called laila or Lilith who is a female demon who seduces men (Erub. 100b; Nid. 24b). It is said that she seizes men who sleep in a house alone, like a succubus (Shab. 151b).
According to the Christians the marriage is a contract between 3. A men, a woman and God. In all the three religions We say that Allah had drawn up the master plan for us way before we were created and has already blessed us with that Gift and that Gift is not to be thrown away without good cause.
Some may say what am I on about? many people get divorced.
The answer is true. because God is pure and Good, he would only allow us his beauty that last longer as long as we keep his commands and because he gave us the free choice not free will like some may say. it is up to us to take the correct choice and do what it takes to keep a marriage together.
Remember in all religion God says “I am always with those who wants to be with me, and those who distance themselves away from me are like a man in the deep sea wondering alone and can not see �. My own translations based on Quran Bible and Tourah teachings
Marriage is
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"a piece of heaven on earth". Gen.2:24
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"this is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they become one flesh".
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The big problem is that many marriages look like or appear to look like "a piece of hell on earth". And the reason is because the three persons in many marriages are the husband, the wife, and Satan in them… and where Satan is, there is misunderstandings, and separations, evil acts and consequently divorces
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Jacob (Pbuh) told Joseph as told in the Quran Be aware Satan is man worst enemy
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So where is the problem?
The problem is that we forget that the contract of marriage should involve God but instead of bringing God into our lives we invite Satan , that is where the calamity occurs
There is a triple purpose of Marriage :
Generation and bringing-up children, mutual help, and the morally regulated satisfaction of the sex urge.
what are our commands?
1- Be a "husband", a lover, friend, confidant, and helper of his wife. "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife has… the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband" (1Cor.7:3-4, 14).
2- Be a "father", take good care of the children.
3- Bring the bread home.
For the Wife:
1- Be a "wife", a lover, friend, confidant, and helper to her husband. Like the first duty of the husband.
2- Be a good "mother" to her children.
3- Take care of the home, a house wife, a never ending job, but a most beautiful profession in life.
In Islam
the word used is not marriage but Zawaj, Zawaj means pairing .... a mate or pair.
Islam encourages people to marry, because the family is the building block of the ummah. Islam seeks to protect the family from destruction and creates a strong barrier of commands and prohibitions surrounding the marital relationship, in order to strengthen this unit so that the ummah will be strong
Marriage serves as a means to emotional and sexual gratification and as a means of tension reduction. It is also a form of worship because it is obeying Allah and his messenger - i.e. Marriage is seen as the only possible way for the sexes to unite. One could choose to live in sin, however by choosing marriage one is displaying obedience to Allah. Marriage is "mithaq" - a solemn covenant (agreement). It is not a matter which can be taken lightly. It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves and that 's why it is seen in Islam as half of the faith.
Why do marriages fail?
There is one answer and the answer is found in the Bible/Tourah and in the Quran:
People do not follow God's commands instead they follow their lust and fall into Satan’s trap and we all know Satan is the best destroyer of marriages.
When Satan spoke to our prophet(Pbuh) and his sahaba in a form of a man he was asked what was his most hated thing ? he said anyone who is close to God and married couples. His best feast is when he manages to split a married couple because he could then offer them all the heaven(which is actually hell) on earth, things like fornication anger fighting custody of the kids property issues etc.. Think about how many feasts Satan may have all because of our failure to turn to God.
God created problems and solutions and expect us to still be able to cement any marriage as long as it is not already doomed, when I say doomed I mean when Satan has already stamped it with evil acts like adulteries etc........
From a reading of the Quran we learn that God does not favour divorces and in fact encourages the continuation of marriage.. If differences arise between husband and wife, sharee’ah sets out stages for disciplining the wife. One of these stages, which we will examine closely here, is forsaking the wife, as Allaah has prescribed that this forsaking should be in bed only [suspending the physical relationship], because staying away altogether is bound to increase the gap between them. So this forsaking has been prescribed with regard to the marital bed, because staying close will bring many benefits such as not creating hatred, and bringing peace of mind, calmness and love.

[4:35]
If a couple fears separation, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they decide to reconcile, GOD will help them get together. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant.
Wait 4 months cooling off before divorce:
[2:226-227]
Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful. If they go through with the divorce, then GOD is Hearer, Knower.
If the estranged couple chooses separation they must go through with it equitably. There must be two equitable witnesses witness the divorce before GOD
[65:2]
Once the interim is fulfilled, you may reconcile with them equitably, or go through with the separation equitably. You shall have two equitable witnesses witness the divorce before GOD. This is to enlighten those who believe in GOD and the Last Day. Anyone who reverences GOD, He will create an exit for him.
A husband is commanded by the law of Allah to treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings and show kindness and consideration, especially if he has another wife. The prophet last sermon stresses kindness to women.
The Qur'anic ayah says
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"Our lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the apples of our eyes and guide us to be models for the righteous"
[65:7]
The rich husband shall provide support in accordance with his means, and the poor shall provide according to the means that GOD bestowed upon him. GOD does not impose on any soul more than He has given it. GOD will provide ease after difficulty.
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the author of Tafseer al-Manaar says: “because sharing the same bed [without engaging in a physical relationship] makes each one want to get closer to the other and makes them calm down after being upset by the events which preceded that. So when the husband forsakes his wife and turns away from her in this case, the calmness that the wife is feeling may lead her to ask him about the reason. This will change the atmosphere from rancour and confrontation to a level of harmony. (Dr. ‘Abd al-Kareem Zaydaan, 7/315)
Subhaan Allaah! This is the matter of discipline, and a kind of discipline that accompanied by strictness. Yet despite that the Lawgiver teaches that this forsaking should be limited to the bed [i.e., the physical relationship] only, because being close to one another achieves the purposes referred to above, and thus the confrontation is changed into harmony, in most cases.
Then if harmony is not achieved and divorce happens, if it is a revocable divorce (talaaq raja’i), the wife has to spend her ‘iddah in her husband’s house and not leave it, and the husband has no right to make her leave, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And turn them not out of their (husband’s) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave�
[al-Talaaq 65:1]
Think about how Islam commands the husband not to turn his wife out, and commands the woman not to leave during this ‘iddah which lasts for three menstrual cycles. Then look at what Allaah says next (interpretation of the meaning):
“You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may be that Allâh will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce)� [al-Talaaq 65:1]
There is a subtle wisdom in this: Islam prescribes that the wife should remain in her house, close to her husband, which is one of the strongest factors in bringing them back together. There are reasons for this, because in this closeness he sees her and she sees him, and they feel compassion for one another, which stirs up in their hearts the potential for mercy, love and compassion. So this closeness plays a role in dispelling hatred and replacing it with love. This is the reason why the couple have to live close together and not be separated during the ‘iddah if it is a revocable divorce. We find this referred to in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And turn them not out of their (husband’s) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allaah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may be that Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce)
[al-Talaaq 65:1]
The husband’s taking his wife back may be verbal or it may be done through actions, i.e., intercourse. What is referred to here cannot be achieved if the wife is outside her home far away from her husband.

May God guide us and help us unit and keep Satan away from our lives.
Amen
TT
Thanks to 101 Jewish source and various Islamic sources for the tafseer

[sweet_angel]

Welcome back Tihad!! we missed you

[-theTruth-]

Shokran okhti
me too

[samawat]

the truth--

hi; good to have you back.

You're right--the beauty of a man and woman loving each other is a gift God gave us as a picture for how much he loves us.

God is beautiful and perfect and good.

I pray that you would know how much he loves and care for you. Anyone can have peace and security in his perfect love.

~SAMAWAT

[-theTruth-]

Salam

Thank you for your kind words
God bless