Hoor el 'Een

[villeneuve]

the reason for no mourning is the same as for mayn other rules: Done by machist men to serve their interests

basta

wasalamou 3laykoum

[safar]

[quote]Originally posted by Anonymous

Safar, you may not have understood 4wives but I totally understand and appreciate polygamy. So I have no questions of the wisdom behind that.

actually I wrote that 'I have come to appreciate this principle so much more'. Meaning that I understand it and agree with it.

Regarding Iddah - I am not talking about Iddah from divorce. I am talking about Iddah from death. If you read my original thread you would understand clearly that the difference between death iddah (4 months 10 days) and divorced iddah (3 months) is becuase when a woman is widowed, she is expected to MOURN for longer.

All I was asking is why is a man not expected to mourn?

Again, I don't think it is 'Mourning'. It is a waiting period/probationary period. Does 'Iddah' mean 'Mourning' in Arabic ? (I am not a native arabic speaker so I asked it as a question. I thought 'Iddah' was a waiting period to make sure that the woman is not pregnant? Where does it say that additional 1 month 10 days is in order to 'Mourn'? I thought in general mourning on people's death is frowned upon in Islam.

Not attacking Islam, just asking? We love our Deen , we must understand and identify with it.

I don't think you were attacking Islam. You are just asking a question. But answers to societal questions are never very simple.

I don't expect you (or anyone) to know for sure. If you don't know , just say so. there is no shame in that, but please don't send me replies that I already know about

Thanks [/b]

My reply was to find out what is meant by 'Iddah'. If you read my post you will see that I posed it as a question whether 'Iddah' meant mourning or not. I don't think it means mourning period. What does 'Iddah' mean literally translated in Arabic? Where does it say it means 'Mourning period' ? Like I said mourning is in general frowned upon in Islam so I find it hard to believe that Islam would prescribe a specific mourning period.

Finally Anon, my post was not necessarily only for you. There are other 'Non-Muslims' who read these threads. So its better to frame an answer that would help non-Muslims in understanding Islam also.

[Anonymous]

[quote]Originally posted by safar

Originally posted by Anonymous

My reply was to find out what is meant by 'Iddah'. If you read my post you will see that I posed it as a question whether 'Iddah' meant mourning or not. I don't think it means mourning period. What does 'Iddah' mean literally translated in Arabic? Where does it say it means 'Mourning period' ? Like I said mourning is in general frowned upon in Islam so I find it hard to believe that Islam would prescribe a specific mourning period.

Finally Anon, my post was not necessarily only for you. There are other 'Non-Muslims' who read these threads. So its better to frame an answer that would help non-Muslims in understanding Islam also.

Safar, sorry bruv but you STILL do not get my meaning. Iddah does not mean mourning, that's correct. It means a waiting period. Its purposes are to determine paternity and to protect the women from making rash decisions.

My question was not on the meaning of Iddah but the difference in waiting period (Iddah) when a woman is divorced versus when she is widowed. When she is divorced it is 3 months. When she is widowed it is 4 months and 10 days. So I researched and asked various Ulama why the difference in Iddah duration between divorced and widowed and they all agree , its because when a woman is widowed she must MOURN for longer.

So all I was asking was , why are women COMPELLED (i.e forced to mourn) while men are not.

Don't worry about replying though, its ok!

[_thetruth]

I know you don't like my answers but
Men are responsable for the family financially therefore they must get on with life and go out to work etc..imagine men sitting at home crying all day long? lovely

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by _thetruth
I know you don't like my answers but
Men are responsable for the family financially therefore they must get on with life and go out to work etc..imagine men sitting at home crying all day long? lovely

Tihad, easy way out bro! Its not that I don't like your answers?! You are not answering the QUESTION I asked. You are going on about things that we all now i.e. role of men vs women in Islam etc. We all know that, we all respect that, we all see the wisdom in that.

I know that according to the Koran men are "guardians and protectors" of women. I LOVE that, I LOVE respecting my husband and I cannot wait to be a stay at home wife.

So I don't know what u are talking about when u say I "don't like your answers"?!

I was asking a SPECIFIC question about 1) jealousy and 2) death Iddah vs Divorce Iddah.

You clearly do not know the answer, that is ok. I don't either and have contacted the Ulama for input on this.

[HOUDA-K]

Originally posted by Anonymous
Especially to the married women out there, how do you feel about this?

I have no problem with whatever Allah gives my husband in Paradise. I trust in the justice of Allah. My focus is in getting to Paradise in the first place.

Originally posted by Anonymous
This is one area where I find it very difficult to justify Islam.

Are you talking about justifying Islam to yourself or to other people?

You don't need to justify Islam to anyone else. Islam is as it is, everyone is free to accept or reject. If you need clarification for yourself, then you are doing the right thing by asking questions and talking about it.

I encourage you, which you have done is to bring your questions to an Alim as well, to get the most knowledgeable answers, and please inform us of the reply insha Allah

Originally posted by Anonymous
Why is Iddah due to husband's death longer than Iddah due to divorce?

[/i]

Here is the translation of the verse we are talking about:

" Such of you as die and leave behind them wives, they (the wives) shall wait, keeping themselves apart, four months and ten days. And when they reach the term (prescribed for them) then there is no sin for you in aught that they may do with themselves in decency. Allah is Informed of what ye do."

{{Al ~ Baqarah:234}}

Mourning is not mentioned. As for the husband getting married the next day - well, in an Islamic society, isn't it quite possible that the husband could already have more than one wife?

Lets say a man has three wives, and one of them dies. Is he supposed to keep himself apart from his remaining two wives for a period of mourning of several months?

How is that fair to them? And if he can be with them, what is the difference with him marrying another? There is no iddah for him.

I haven’t been much help, but I was meaning to post this a while ago.

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by HOUDA-K
[

[/i]

Here is the translation of the verse we are talking about:

" Such of you as die and leave behind them wives, they (the wives) shall wait, keeping themselves apart, four months and ten days. And when they reach the term (prescribed for them) then there is no sin for you in aught that they may do with themselves in decency. Allah is Informed of what ye do."

{{Al ~ Baqarah:234}}

Mourning is not mentioned. As for the husband getting married the next day - well, in an Islamic society, isn't it quite possible that the husband could already have more than one wife?

Lets say a man has three wives, and one of them dies. Is he supposed to keep himself apart from his remaining two wives for a period of mourning of several months?

How is that fair to them? And if he can be with them, what is the difference with him marrying another? There is no iddah for him.

I haven’t been much help, but I was meaning to post this a while ago.
[/b]

Houda , I am well aware of the verse. That is exactly the one I was referring to in the 1st place.

I asked the Ulama why Iddah for divorce according to the Koran was 3months and why Iddah for death (also according to the Koran as you quoted) is 4 months and 10 days. They replied, and this is consensus with all Ulama, that Iddah following death is longer due to MOURNING. You know we have to look the the Ulama and Hadith to get answers as the Koran does not explain every detail (if it did it would be a million pages long

So no, u have not answered my Q.

As for more than one wife, that may exist but it is more the exception than the rule. Not to worry though, I have asked islamonline about this and await an answer. I will let u know.