Hoor el 'Een

[_thetruth]

Originally posted by Anonymous
Rocam - I read those links. I understand that women would be rewarded in Paradise too and no-one (man or woman) will feel unhappy or unsatisfied in Jannah.

I am not questioning that, all I am saying is refer to my original thread, it says that Allah will remove jealousy from wives hearts so they they are not jealous of Hoor El-Een in paradise. Why even have this? Why remove jealousy instead of leaving a man just with his earth wife?

Or if Heaven is another dimension and we don't have to worry about paternity etc why not give the wives a male version of Hoor El-Een and remove jealousy from the husbands hearts?

Chica and Tihad - agree, it takes a while to get over the end of a relationship (whether by death or divorce). I am not disputing that.

What I am talking about here are the ISLAMIC RULES AND LAWS. Women HAVE to mourn for 4 months and 10 days, while men do not HAVE to mourn at all. Sure a hubby may wait a few years before he remarries but he is not COMPELLED to. Why?

I am not going to give you an answer to the first part because I haven;t got one but I will say something else.
Heaven is something on one experienced except Mohammed(pbuh)and no one knows what will happen. many things don't make sense things like we will stand naked in front of God and yet on earth we have to cover ourselves????? all these things have reasons which we do not know and will not benefit us at all in knowing them however they do benefit Satan because he is the one who make us think like that. What Shaytan normally do is try to lead you astray by making you lazy, make you read the Quran instead of joining the prayers, he is very cunning and have ways to confuse us and when he fails he would start making us asking questions like what will happen if you fail to pray... what will happen if you go to heaven will you see your husband mum ?etc...all these questions are meanningless and at that moment our prophet(pbuh) told us that we need to say"astaghfero Allah al Adeem"because it's the Nafss that speaks and it's the Nafs which made Satan refuse to bow to Adam. because we are then seeking answers of the unknown and you can then spend years trying to get the answers and we will fail so that is why we have to stop and move on.

the bottom line is this In heaven we are going to be different and everyone will get what they want, there will be no jealousy no hatred no racism,sexism total freedom no problem what so ever you can say that Allah(SWT)will make us with new characteristics which we did not have on earth. remember No one enters heaven unless totally clean from sins and becomes pure.
second part of the Question Allah knows best

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by _thetruth
I am not going to give you an answer to the first part because I haven;t got one but I will say something else.
Heaven is something on one experienced except Mohammed(pbuh)and no one knows what will happen. many things don't make sense things like we will stand naked in front of God and yet on earth we have to cover ourselves????? all these things have reasons which we do not know and will not benefit us at all in knowing them however they do benefit Satan because he is the one who make us think like that. What Shaytan normally do is try to lead you astray by making you lazy, make you read the Quran instead of joining the prayers, he is very cunning and have ways to confuse us and when he fails he would start making us asking questions like what will happen if you fail to pray... what will happen if you go to heaven will you see your husband mum ?etc...all these questions are meanningless and at that moment our prophet(pbuh) told us that we need to say"astaghfero Allah al Adeem"because it's the Nafss that speaks and it's the Nafs which made Satan refuse to bow to Adam. because we are then seeking answers of the unknown and you can then spend years trying to get the answers and we will fail so that is why we have to stop and move on.

the bottom line is this In heaven we are going to be different and everyone will get what they want, there will be no jealousy no hatred no racism,sexism total freedom no problem what so ever you can say that Allah(SWT)will make us with new characteristics which we did not have on earth. remember No one enters heaven unless totally clean from sins and becomes pure.
second part of the Question Allah knows best [/b]

Thanks bruv but what you've said does not answer the Q. What u said is what we as Muslims all know (its almost like a copy and paste from an Islamic textbook)

But it doesn't answer the original Q does it. Forget heaven , why COMPULSORY 4 months 10 days mourning for women and no COOMPULSORY mourning at all for men. I have heard that it is to "protect" women but then still should a man not compulsorily mourn out of respect?

Also why all the talk of removing jealousy from the WIVES hearts in Jannah, instead of the husbands.

Don't get me wrong, I am not worried that I will be affected by this in the after life. My worry now is to make it to Jannah in the first place by good deeds, taqwa etc. However, I still cannot wonder about why the so called "rewards" have been structured in a blatantly sexist way.

[_thetruth]

there is no such thing as sexism. Women are not the same as men, they are two different creations. you can not say that one is better than the other or both equal that is a non sense.
Ask the Jews and the christians they may have an answer about the subject like to hear what Theja have to say about the rewards of women

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by _thetruth
there is no such thing as sexism. Women are not the same as men, they are two different creations. you can not say that one is better than the other or both equal that is a non sense.
Ask the Jews and the christians they may have an answer about the subject like to hear what Theja have to say about the rewards of women

As a devoted Muslima, and a very happy wife (who is willing to respect, honor and obey her husband), I know and appreciate the roles of men vs women in Islam.

I understand that we are equal, but different.

ALL I AM SAYING BROTHER TIHAD, THAT THESE RULES ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND OR JUSTIFY.

[Anonymous]

When you can give me a plausible explanation for Iddah (4 months ten days for women vs Nothing for a man when his wife passes) then we can talk

[safar]

I didn't think 'Iddah' meant a 'Mourning period' I thought it just meant a waiting period/probationary period.

Why is there a waiting period for women and not for men? well why are men allowed to marry upto 4 wives and women not? And the answer to this could take days. However part of Islam is faith and submission. To believe in the unseen and to try to follow its rule and then hope for Allah's mercy.

I take Islam has a whole, the Quran as a whole. When I read Ayahs I have a hard time understanding, I practice patience. Many things that didn't make sense to me when I first read the Quran are very clear to me now. Growing up in a Pakistani culture where polygamy is very rare I could not understand the 4 wives thing. Now having seen things in the Western society I have come to appreciate this principle so much more.

Keep asking this question but to better people and scholars maybe you will find an answer that may satisfy you, maybe not.

For me the links posted by rocam were quite comprehensive.

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by safar
I didn't think 'Iddah' meant a 'Mourning period' I thought it just meant a waiting period/probation period.

Why is there a waiting period for women and not for men? well why are men allowed to marry upto 4 wives and women not? And the answer to this could take days. However part of Islam is faith and submission. To believe in the unseen and to try to follow its rule and then hope for Allah's mercy.

I take Islam has a whole, the Quran as a whole. When I read Ayahs I have a hard time understanding, I practice patience. Many things that didn't make sense to me when I first read the Quran are very clear to me now. Growing up in a Pakistani culture where polygamy is very rare I could not understand the 4 wives thing. Now having seen things in the Western society I have come to appreciate this principle so much more.

Keep asking this question but to better people and scholars maybe you will find an answer that may satisfy you, maybe not.

For me the links posted by rocam were quite comprehensive.

Safar, you may not have understood 4wives but I totally understand and appreciate polygamy. So I have no questions of the wisdom behind that.

Regarding Iddah - I am not talking about Iddah from divorce. I am talking about Iddah from death. If you read my original thread you would understand clearly that the difference between death iddah (4 months 10 days) and divorced iddah (3 months) is becuase when a woman is widowed, she is expected to MOURN for longer.

All I was asking is why is a man not expected to mourn?

Not attacking Islam, just asking? We love our Deen , we must understand and identify with it.

I agree with faith and submission. I am a lifelong student of Islam, but that does not mean that I cannot question. As our Prophet SAW said "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave".

Rocam's links come from the same place my original link comes from (islamonline.net). It still does not explain the base q's I asked which are:

1) Why a widow has to mourn but a widower doesn't
2) Why does jealousy have to be removed from wives hearts instead of from husbands.

I don't expect you (or anyone) to know for sure. If you don't know , just say so. there is no shame in that, but please don't send me replies that I already know about

Thanks