Husband as a Barakah from Allah

[LDNgirl]

Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatu

Marriage in itself completes half the deen if each party completes their responsibilities to the other. This is a common statement that is mentioned when contemplating marriage. To me, the fact that in doing something so easy, that can benefit me in so many ways, is completing my deen... bring it on! lol..

However, the practicalities of marriage are so much harder. I've never realised this before, but men and women are SOOOO different! Men are such babies (sorry guys, but you are!)

I was speaking to a sister about this and she said that men in marriage are a Barakah from Allah SWT, a means to gain rewards. Sisters generally fight fire with fire, and be as stubborn as her husband when it comes down to silly things. But in making your husband happy, making his life comfortable, addressing his needs when they need to be addressed, this is a means to gain reward. And even if you do hold your temper when he's being a total idiot, there are so many rewards in doing so.

But one question, could any Moroccan girl live like this? We are naturally hot tempered and argumentative, well at least I am! lol...

What about the other sisters, and what do the brothers think?

Wa Salam

[Anisa]

I think you have to compromise.

You have only mentioned here what women should do for their husbands...

As long as its give and take & of course the man is not a complete chauvinistic pig then it may well work. But it has to be give AND take. I see a lot of brothers treating their wives like 2nd class citizens and won't even look at them in public, and the women walk 3 steps behind...comeon people its the year 2004 now!

[-thetruth]

Anisa

That's culture not Islam
Islam Says:

004.001 O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women;- reverence Allah, through whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (That bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.

Al-Qur'an, 004.001 (An-Nisa [Women])

004.005 To those weak of understanding Make not over your property, which Allah hath made a means of support for you, but feed and clothe them therewith, and speak to them words of kindness and justice.

Al-Qur'an, 004.005 (An-Nisa [Women])



004.013 Those are limits set by Allah: those who obey Allah and His Messenger will be admitted to Gardens with rivers flowing beneath, to abide therein (for ever) and that will be the supreme achievement.
004.014 But those who disobey Allah and His Messenger and transgress His limits will be admitted to a Fire, to abide therein: And they shall have a humiliating punishment.

Al-Qur'an, 004.014 (An-Nisa [Women])

[Anisa]

Respect is the key word here.

[_nadia_]

Also, both parties should know their rights in Islam; their rights upon each other and the rights owed to themselves...if that makes sense. If both parties know their haqooq then inshaAllah they won't abuse their responsibilities and this closes the door to ignorance which can ruin many a marriage.

Sometimes for us sisters, there are times when we get realllly frustrated with our husbads. The best thing is to remember it is a form of ibaadah to Allah on our part, so just try to grin and bare it (obviously within reason, because men are not allowed to mistreat us or take advantage; in the Qur'an it says men have been placed a degree above women...this doesn't mean they're better than us, but they have a financial and a physical duty to look after and protect us).

Men and women have their roles clearly defined in Islam, and subhanaAllah it is perfect. It's a shame that it's total ignorance that is the downfall of many many marriages and affects the state of the ummah today

[-thetruth]

The number one cause of any issues in marriage is the devil. He would make any tiny issue into a big one to create division. the best way to have a happy life is to refer to my thread called law of beliefs, it's so amazing at how easy is it to be happy.
Anytime you loose it and say astaghfiro allah you automatically put your mind into a lower stage of anger.

if you look most problems nowadays were no different from the ones our mums and dads went through however the divorce rate today is higher than before. Some may say that women were abused not looked after etc.. and went to search for something better.... some of it it's true but the majority is not so the question is why?

Before people were properly educated on how to respect mum and dad and the elderly hence respect between partners was the base of Mariage. nowadays you hear kids swearing at their parents and their parents do the same.so how can a man treat his wife with respect if he can swear at his mum or via versa?. the social structure of the family has changed. you mainly see that in the west where kids have their food outsides,take away took over them. some may say that's the new life true but we can change it by at least have one meal with family together so problems can be shared and halved. there is no magic in it but every little bits help.
People are being mislead by the media and the devil for that matter you get told you must loose weight and must do this and look like that person and some people can not even survive without putting on makeups .... to be happy people in some countries can not stay away from chemicals for a day and others feel so low because of that fake media that you keep searching fo rthe perfect partner that will never materalise hence they would feel less fortunate and when they feel older they then make the mistake of taken anything that comes along because the life train is running faster than it used to be.
Then you have the easily available temptations and because we are being told at schools to respect people's way of life,the majority took that message as a way to just go out and be free like animals where morals are a nogo area. free sex free pornographical materials and those who try to make a woman look like perfect dole etc....all for a temporary fix and that's where satan comes in He would wisper in your ears to do haram stuff and ignoring the rules laid by Allah and the society and when Alcohol is involved then morals become history then lies and deceptions follow.......
all these are there to make anyone with feelings to resent the way they look and anyone who make a comment and because the partners are together it's so easy to make a mistake.
However if you get yourself out of that Maze and try to turn to God for a change then all the non important stuff will look nothing important to you and next stage you will feel a lot happier less stressful and less argumentative.
We share the same biology but not the same idiology

LDNgirl, you are so hypocrite! in one hand you keep typing terms like "Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatu" "Allah SWT" "completing my deen... bring it on! " As if you are a devoted Muslim , as if you follow the Islamic rules. But in the other hand, you said " could any Moroccan girl live like this? We are naturally hot tempered and argumentative, well at least I am"
My question to you is as follow, why don't you follow Allah SWT ways on how to be a good wife, a wife who respects her husband. A wife who knows where she stands in a marriage. A wife who does not have temper and does not argue with her husband. You can't have it both ways, if you claim to be a Muslim, then you got to accept the rules. If not, welcome to the club and join the party